Leo - July 2010

1st. Your olive branch farts are really a winning delightful gesture, but they are more likely to start a war, than stop it.

2nd. You try to do the right thing and it backfires on you. Accidentally locking yourself in the bathroom to fart, you really painted yourself in a corner.

3rd. The street musician said to pass the hat. Not pass gas.

4th. Glad you feel better, but your rambling farting butt in the locker room was not the kind of pep talk the boys needed.

5th. Your farts are politically incorrect. Who knew?

6th. When your girlfriend said she couldn’t wait for you to pop the question, she didn’t expect you to pop off a fart.

7th. You were told to practice what you preach. That didn’t mean sniffing your own farts.

8th. Your salad farts by comparison are prim and proper compared to yesterday’s brontosaurus farts.

9th. Proclaim it from the rooftops didn’t mean to fart into your neighbors old satellite dish.

10th. The universe thanks you for pulling in the reins on those garlic broccoli farts.

11th. Real smart Private, you know there’s a pecking order, by forcing a fart before your Sergeant you really pull rank again.

12th. Whew today you really push the fart envelope.

13th. Spraying your butt with air freshener is like putting lipstick on a pig.

14th. No need to put on airs around your new in laws, they’re all down home farters too.

15th. Boy that atomic bomb fart of yours really put your boyfriends nose out of joint.

16th. Thank good golly gosh for corks. One way to put the kybosh on your farting spree.

17th. Who’s idea was it to put two and two together, by farting together in group therapy, the toxic gases could clash into something much more deadly.

18th. You always put your best fart forward. Good thing you’re double jointed.

19th. Was it worth it, sneaking into your neighbors car and farting ? Yeah it was a victory, a pyrrhic victory. Your farts are so intense you could have killed yourself.

20th. Your cash reserves are low this month, why not take a colonic, a good poor man’s substitute for that south of the border trip you planned.

21st. You win the lottery. Beans yesterday , caviar farts today. How does it smell going from rags to riches

22nd. Eggplant farts raise a few eyebrows.

23rd. Boy you got a raw deal with your sushi diarrhea farts, they didn’t get a chance to fester into something that could really pollute.

24th. Talk about a smear campaign! Your ass reads fellow co-workers the riot act about your new boss.

25th. It’s pointless, the relationship is over. You can rearrange the deck chairs on the Titanic, but your ass is taking this ship down.

26th. You’ve become a real Renaissance man, your farts smell like sulphur clouds during the Industrial revolution.

27th. You are really confusing your schoolmates. At least you could fart out a tune. Your latest batch are without rhyme or reason.

28th. Just when they thought the farting had stopped, your ass rises from the ashes and history is repeated.

29th. The sea is dead calm. Your effort to fill the sail with your farts really rocks the boat .

30th. Behind on your farts? Beans and rice. Blasting one off is not rocket science.

31st. They really roll out the red carpet for you, guess they want the spray from your bleeding hemorrhoid farts to blend in.

Virgo - July 2010

1st. A farting spree at the grocery store will have them rolling in the aisles.

2nd. How rancid was that side of beef you ate? Better fart through rose colored glasses today.

3rd. Your farts go jumbo when you fart with gumbo.

4th. You shouldn’t have become a masseuse. Your farts rub some people the wrong way.

5th. You ruffle a few feathers with your deep fried turkey farts.

6th. Eat your beans! You really run out of gas today.

7th. Your all beef farts really run rings around vegetarian farts.

8th. Jogging behind a big farter today, finds you really running on fumes.

9th. No use playing Russian roulette with your farts, they’re all deadly

10th. You are elected best farter in school. Your farts are always rough and ready.

11th. Your farts are like the salt of the earth, being poured on an open wound.

12th. Your farts have gone 5.1, scattered to the four winds and resonate from your sub woofing boom box.

13th. Those butt cramps will float away today. Don’t fret the gas in your ass will pass.

14th. When you light your farts they really scream blue murder.

15th. The air hasn’t cleared. It was way too soon to walk back into that room. You’re having second thoughts about your farts.

16th . Your neighbor seeks revenge. How does it feel when the fart is on the other butt?

17th. Are you always getting shot down in flames. Stop farting, or at least stop setting them on fire.

18th. There’s no fooling around with you. Your farts really shoot from the hip.

19th. You’re really trying to fit it, but when someone turns their nose up at your farts, you’re barking up the wrong tree.

20th. Conversation yes, but shooting the breeze with the new kids in class does not mean farting, when spoken to.

21st. You are very honest and giving , you never short change anybody with your farts

22nd. People can’t really say you’re full of yourself. With your farting regularity you’re always running near empty.

23rd. There is no mistaking your farts, they are always signed, sealed and delivered.

24th. No handouts today. Your farting is a disgusting form of singing for your supper. Frankly a dead giveaway. People aren’t going to feed the machine that ruins their Christmas pudding.

25th. How in the hell did you train your butt to sing like a canary?

26th. You are left to sink or swim in your own wet farts.

27th. Eating more broccoli than cauliflower is making your farts six of one half a dozen of the other.

28th. Today you really drop the sixty four thousand fart. Celebrate.

29th. Your farts are flying high today, supersonic, the sky’s the limit.

30th. Sleep well and don’t let the stinkbugs fart.

31st. Slowly, slowly catchy monkey. Eventually you will be King of the Farters.

Libra - July 2010

1st . You are a clever little stinker, smarty- pants-farty pants.

2nd. With your farting problem, people always smell a rat when you’re in the neighborhood, perhaps you should take the rodent out of the trap before you eat the cheese.

3rd. You deserved that slap in the face. Passing gas is not exactly like passing the peace pipe.

4th. Your butt may have gone dormant for now, but you’re not fooling anyone, there is something lurking nasty in your woodshed.

5th. Your wine and cheese farts are really sour grapes.

6th. Your ass carves out a mean furrow, but the expression is sow your wild oats, not sow your wild farts.

7th. The expression is spare the rod and spoil the child. However truthful, it is not proper to say the Scottish rendition, spare farts spoil the child.

8th. Do you notice every time you fart, people say speak of the devil?

9th. There is an expression, speak to the organ grinder not the monkey, this is why everyone is always yelling at your butt.

10th. Your farts are so loud, they speak volumes about you.

11th. They know who dealt it. Stop throwing sweaters. You’re not pulling the wool over any ones eyes when your butt spins an old yarn or two.

12th. Your ass has the right to free speech, even though your farts are like a square peg in a round hole, they are fair and square.

13th. Your ass reduction operation was a success. No one would know that it’s your state of the art electronic farting devise that’s really sounding off.

14th. You are always stealing someone’s thunder and taking credit for their farts.

15th. Too bad about the diarrhea. Your farts are really stewing in your own juices.

16th. You are your own best friend You always stick to your guns.

17th. A fart in time slays nine.

18th. That Hollywood muffler you attached to your butt is making your farts louder and giving your ass 33% more horsepower

19th. If still waters run deep, your gallant attempt to implode your own farts makes you a most fascinating and considerate individual.

20th. Your stool pigeon farts just tipped off the police.

21st. Your farts are strange even at the best of times.

22nd. You shouldn’t have eaten those dates. Your farts broke the camels back.

23rd. Your farts really strike an evil chord.

24th. You like to fart after every meal. Strike while the iron’s hot.

25th. You’re really sweeping people off their feet with this round of haggis farts.

26th. It’s a pretty cheesy imitation, but your swan song fart may just be the last thing you do. It really killed everybody.

27th. Your farts are so consistently similar these days, walking beside you is like a stroll down memory lane.

28th. do you really want to be covered in oily discharge? Remember next time you fart, it’s the squeaky wheel gets the grease

29th. If your butt had a pacifier for every time it farts, there wouldn’t be any left for babies.

30th. Don’t be fooled by the wild silly grins on your neighbors faces. They do not have a sweet tooth for your farts.

31st. Mystery solved, the skeleton in your closet , is from a wolverine that crawled up your butt and died.

Scorpio - July 2010

1st. You can stop farting at the neighbors. The tables are turned, they’ve installed an outdoor fan aimed at you.

2nd. Don’t be insulted when people ask for a rain check on your wet farts.

3rd . Scientists approach you to take your butt out for a test drive, to find out what makes it tick ... so loudly.

4th . Your farts take no prisoners, they are out to kill.

5th. Your farts are like your belchs, they really take your breath away.

6th. Talk is cheap, but your farts are free.

7th. Your farts are on everybody’s lips. They’re the talk of the town.

8th. All that talk out of the back of your head is pure rubbish. They don’t call you a butt head for nothing.

9th. It’s sad but people are now wearing ear plugs around you. Why it’s like farting to a brick wall.

10th. Boy your butt is really talking turkey, it’s gassing everybody to sleep.

11th. It is not necessary to yell Tally ho every time you fart.

12th . You seem to be getting a taste of your own medicine lately, maybe you should pull your head of your ass.

13th. Teaching you to fart any better would be like trying to teach your grandmother to suck eggs.

14th. Stop the rippers and you’ll stop tearing your hair out of your ass.

15th. When people say you have the loudest ass in London, Tell em that’s the way the fart rumbles.

16th. The fart doesn’t fall far from the tree.

17th. Your farts are the be all and end all.

18th. A fart is always greener on the other side, when it comes from your ass

19th . Your farts are like the Mounties, they have a reputation for always getting their man.

20th. Boy someone sure grabbed the short straw when they had to pull off a colonic on your butt.

21st. The sun sets in the west, your farts rise wherever they want to.

22nd. There is no such thing as a free fart , there is always a price to pay.

23rd. You have really been brushing up on your farts. Brushing up against everyone you drop the bomb on. There’s the rub.

24th. Your farts always stink outside the box.

25th. We know you think the world of your farts, maybe your brain could use a rest.

26th. In your mind, the third farts the charm, don’t kid yourself they all stink.

27th. Those who live by the fart, die by the fart.

28th. Your roof repairman, says it’s going to cost more to fix your roof, the problem is, your farts have really gone through the ceiling.

29th. You always try to crank out your best, but don’t worry, your true friends will support you through thick and thin ... farts.

30th. Farting without panties is really throwing caution to the wind

31st. No one appreciates them like you do. You always try to share the wealth, but your farts are like throwing pearls to pigs

Sagittarius - July 2010

1st. Talk about being thrown into the deep end, you always save your most wicked farts for new employees.

2nd . You always cry when you pull the plug, you are very sentimental throwing the tub fart out with the bath water.

3rd. You really thumb your butt at all the guys in the band, when you taught your dumb ass to play the juice harp.

4th. You laugh at your own farts because they tickle your fancy.

5th. Your laughing farting ass is really tickled pink.

6th. Your ass runs a tight ship. If it don’t like somebody your farts toss them overboard.

7th. With the high cost of fuel, even tightening your belt, your butt will actually just spill more gas.

8th. You have no mercy farting till the pips squeak.

9th. You continue farting till you’re blue in the face and in the butt.

10th. Your feeble attempts to go green by farting at windmills is finally paying off. Don’t laugh, the power company is getting a charge out of your ass.

11th. Farting into a grandfather clock is a time honored practice.

12th. To fart is human, to forgive is pretty damn nice of someone.

13th. To cut a long fart short. would take a pretty huge pinch in the ass

14th. Your farts are getting too big for your boots. Maybe you should get some hip waders.

15th. Your farts are getting too big for your britches, may we suggest a larger diaper.

16th. Your farts are losing their edge. Too many cooks spoil the fart. Time to go back to your own tried and true recipes

17th. Your farts are top dog.

18th. You always lose your train of thought when you dream about your steam engine farts.

19th. When the proctologist pulls spaghetti out of your butt he will pull at your fart strings.

20th. No sense lying about your farts., the truth will come out in the end.

21st. Looks like a turf war on your block , your new neighbor claims to be a better farter. You’ll prove him wrong. When he tries to kick your ass, just turn the other cheek .

22nd. You are very positive, you turn water into wine and your farts into song.

23rd. The universe does not agree with your saying, two farts are better than one.

24th. Your butt is so deadly it has to be registered with the authorities.

25h. Your butt comes under fire today. It’s about time someone had the guts to fart back.

26th. You try to keep your farts hush hush and under the table, but every time you get up to pea, there’s a trail of stink that follows you all the way to the toilet

27th. You can always count on your farts to be up to snuff.

28th. Your farts are definitely up to scratch, everyone is scratching their eyes out.

29th. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but one of your farts can upset the whole frigging applecart.

30th. Your farts are upper crust, they have an air about them that defies dignity.

31st . The one that got away? Don’t panic. You haven’t lost your fart, it’s right under your nose.

Capricorn - July 2010

1st. Every time you fart, you really vent your spleen.

2nd. Farting into a tornado is a vicious circle

3rd. Your farts are like patient Angels, waiting in the wings.

4th. You’re eating too late. Your loud farts in bed are a real wake up call.

5th. Walking behind you is like a walk in the park , after the snow melts, and the dog turds start to thaw.

6th. You’ve been in such a foul mood lately people are saying it’s like walking on eggshells around you. Actually your foulness comes from your rotten egg farts.

7th. What the hell did you eat, 400 pounds of broccoli? Walking with you and your farting is like walking the green mile.

8th. Your farting binge seems to give you more get up and go, like you’re walking on air.

9th. Your ass is really on the warpath this morning.

10th. You cling to the idiom waste not want not. Your farts seem to cling to you. The world just wants not.

11th. You have a very strong emotional attachment to your farts. Man do they cling.

12th. People are really weak at the knees around your farts. They’re keeling over.

13th. Your farts are a real handful. Glad you don’t wear your fart on your sleeve

14th. Learning to fart out your ears really took a weight off your shoulders.

15th. Your butt is a well oiled machine. Should get that oily discharge looked at.

16th. You’re a little wet behind the ears for now, but learning to fart from your head will become easier for a shit for brains kinda guy like you.

17th. You must be getting tired of people asking you who died every time you walk into a room?

18th. Your new girlfriends farts are the real shebang.

19th. We used to think your manually encouraged farts would never fly. We were wrong.

20th. You become the number one farter in town. You have a lot of competition though, so keep your focus. You just won by a nose.

21st. Your farts can really wipe the smile off someone’s face.

22nd. Your neighbors really know how to fart up a storm. With friends like that who needs enemies.

23rd. 47 farts in 30 seconds . No wonder you got kicked out of the bar. You’re really the bum’s rush.

24th. Glad you could get your trailer full of, farts off without a hitch, you’ve been towing them around for months.

25th. Your ass could make grapes wither on a vine

26th. You are a non-stop farter, you really work your tail off.

27th. By the writing on the wall, we can see that your diarrhea farts are back.

28th. You have the fouled ass in town. It’s X-rated.

29th. You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him fart, that’s where you cover for him.

30th . Your butt is always having it’s day in court, farting off at the mouth about something.

31st. You can’t take them with you, fart em’ if you got em’.

Pisces - July 2010

1st. Boy getting a job putting on Hawaiian luau’s , you really know how to bring home the bacon farts.

2nd. People are asking the burning question, do you light your farts?

3rd. Feeling nervous? Or are those just butter farts in your stomach?

4th. Farts come out your ass in droves, by cracky.

5th. You have a thing about passing wind in libraries. You really like to fart by the book, silent but deadly.

6th. That fart by numbers course you took, how’s that working for you?

7th. You really know how to blow off steam. No one can hold a candle to your farts.

8th. You’ve really changed your tune since yesterday, thank goodness your proctologist found that slide whistle.

9th. That new oak toilet seat really fits your ass. Your farts are coming out of the woodwork.

10th. They said cut your co-worker some slack, not cut him a fart.

11th. You really went hog wild, your wild boar farts are to die for.

12th. How does one acquire a taste for their own bath tub farts?

13th. After all is said and done, the stink remains.

14th. Did you fart in the dessert? The proof is in the pudding

15th. Why must you air your dirty farts in public?

16th. You must be angry if your farts are any indication of you airing your grievances.

17th. you know how to let off steam. Everybody loves your anger management technique. Your farts are all the rage.

18th. The townsfolk are hoping that the end is in sight, and it isn’t your ass, and that your farts will blow over.

19th. Finding your neighbor in bed with your wife by climbing in with them and farting under their blanket, really blew their cover.

20th. You must be very proud. Phew! Your farting really got off to a bad start today.

21st. This might be the last day your wife can say “your farts will be the death of me”.

22nd. The universe thought your butt was bearing fruit, … just hemorrhoids.

23rd. Have you noticed? Your Co-workers beat a hasty retreat back to their cubicles, every time your ass shows up.

24th. With all your farting at night, your mattress is no bed of roses.

25th. Whew eating that roast really beefed up your farts.

26th. Your farts are beyond measure.

27th. Your farts are beyond words.

28th. Your farts really take ones breath away.

29th. Your farts are blown all out of proportion.

30th. Your plan today, to fart on your boss, really blows up in your face, when he locks his door.

31st. Your co-workers are really bogged down by your swamp farst.

Aries - July 2010

1st. the way you dish out your farts, you must have been born with a silver spoon in your butt.

2nd. Your farts really move Heaven and Earth. You broke new ground with your experimental goulash farts, probably soiled yourself. At least the hole will give you a head start on your drainage ditch.

3rd. You are always the bearer of bad farts.

4th. Give it a rest already, fill some balloons with your farts, do something.

5th. Your ass is always first to break the news. And why do the headlines always start with one of your farts?

6th. The weather forecast today is once again, windy and smoggy.

7th. Your atomic bomb farts litterally bring down the house.

8th. You always bring up the rear in everything you do, including your farting, at least you excel at something.

10th. Don’t lose weight being broad in the beam is the only way you could support those farts.

11th. Your idea of a brush with the law is farting on a police car.

12th. Your farts are built to order!. We know you put a lot of thought into what goes into making your farts. May we make a request, no eggs or garlic today.

13th. Your ass is more sensitive then a car alarm, you don’t even have to bump into it for it to go off.

14th. Getting paid for your farts is really dirty money. I hope it burns a hole in your pocket, your farts have already burnt a hole in your ass.

15th. did you mother not teach you to knock first? Walking in backwards and farting unexpectantly on your boss is really bursting in on someone, crude and rude.

16th. You sure don’t know much out TV, a satellite dish is not designed for receiving farts from the stars.

17th. Your farts might make you happy, but they’re not exactly bursting with joy.

18th. In the Men’s room, hanging your butt over someone else’s stall and farting, is really butting in on someone else’s business

19th. Your farts are really uncalled for.

20th. You will be really called on the carpet today for farting on the rug.

21st. Giving names to your bazooka farts is brilliant. You can really call the shots.

22nd. When you are told to hold your fire in boot camp, your platoon wants you to shut your ass up.

23rd. The planet is sympathetic to your pleas that you can’t do anything with your ass today, and somewhat relieved.

24th. Most people couldn’t stomach your farts, yours must be cast iron.

25th. Your farts really carry a lot of weight, they add buoyancy to your large butt.

26th. The world is on to you. Your farts come as no surprise to most people

27th. You really create a stink today at the grocery store, when the price of beans goes up.

28th. You create an uproar from your ass and the balcony when you fart at the theatre.

29th. You tend to cut and run when you drop a garlic fart.

30th. Your idea of cutting class legally is farting during an exam, and being told to leave.

31st. Your farts are very similar, they’re really cut from the same cloth.

Taurus - July 2010

1st. You really cut to the chase. People are always running from your farts.

2nd. Your farts are really a dead loss.

3rd. Your bad ass really delivers the goods today. Whew!

4th. Why so glum? No loud obnoxious outbursts from your ass today? Oh I see. Your farts are down in the dumps

5th. Looks like your farting has gone down the tubes. Oh well you’ll have more tomorrow.

6th. people are staring at your butt, looks like that pencil stuck in your ass is really drawing interest.

7th. Boy can you drop a big hint or what. Your first fart of the day is really telling of bigger things to come.

8th. When your neighbors asked you to drop by, they didn’t mean to fart at their front door.

9th. When your girlfriend asks you to drop everything and come by. She is telling you to leave your farts at home.

10th. Your farts are worthless, they’re getting to easy to come by.

11th. You’ve gone full circle with your farts. There’s always enough to go around.

12th. Every hog has his day. Today you find yours.

13th. Your co-workers really face the music today when you surprise them with your drum machine farts.

14th. You have really fallen head over heels for your farts. You must get that a lot. Your head is up your ass.

15th. You will have a falling out with your co-workers, you’ll drop the Big Fart today

16th. Mysterious events are happening in your area. Is it a Sasquatch or Big Fart. Probably Big Fart if it had anything to do with your ass.

17th. Someone gets hurt trying to fan the flames after one of your farts.

18th. You really feel it beneath yourself when you fart in public.

19th. Tired of farting with your buddies. You must felt like a new person, farting at your neighbors.

20th. A refreshing change, people are asking less of you. They wish your farts were few and far between.

21st. For most people it’s the early bird gets the worm. With your farts it’s first come first served.

22nd. We know your proud of your tuna farts, but don’t be so sure others will be as appreciative when you fish for a compliment.

23rd. A big day to push your stink. Everyone will be glad when your farts finally fizzle out after midnight.

24th. Your double burner farts are the highlight of the day when they flare up.

25th. Poppin’ them off through silk panties gives your farts a flight of fancy.

26th. Your farts are good as gold. Thanks for sharing the wealth , you really float a loan with low interest.

27th. You’re working the grave shift, your farts are really a fly by night sensation.

28th. Thanks for the follow up to your last fart. This one’s even better.

29th. don’t be surprised if someone tries to crack a two by four over your butt today. Your farts are a force to be reckoned with.

30th. You really foul up. You shouldn’t have farted in the boss’s chair.

31st. You really are generous with your farts. It’s a free for all back there.

Gemini - July 2010

1st. You are one big stinker. To translate what your ass just said.

2nd. Eating beans today will be more than food for thought, you’ll really gas up for farting on tomorrow’s road trip.

3rd. You really get a bang out of farting!!

4th. When you don’t like someone you give them more than just a dirty look. You fart in their direction

5th. Are you even chewing your food? Your co-workers think they’re getting a raw deal from your farts.

6th. You don’t have any secrets. You always like to get things out in the open, like your farts for example.

7th. Mystery solved. Your farts really get to the bottom of where they’re from.

8th. When you blamed your fart on someone else, you really gave your co-worker a bum steer.

9th. Your farts don’t leave anything to be desired. They really give the full low-down.

10th. I think we can go without saying your farts will be silent but deadly.

11th. Gone but not forgotten. Your farts do linger.

12th. Farting when constipated is real grunt work

13th. You have a strong gut feeling about a foul wind about to blow.

14th. Although you’re the last one to talk about your farts, you’re always bringing up the rear.

15th. Your butt cheeks can really ham it up when it comes spontaneous farting.

16th. Your ass is pretty quiet this morning. Not to worry if history repeats itself your butt will start hammering something out by noon.

17th. It’s always Happy Hour with your farting.

18th. Your farts have a good thing going, all the noise and stink they can muster and a free ride to the real world.

19th. Your farts are not all song and dance, they really reek too.

20th. Silent but Deadly whew! Who who farted? Your farts aren’t telling, they’re probably in cahoots with some wise owl.

21st. A compliment overdue. In hindsight, looking back, your chunky farts always bring more to the table.

22nd. The neighbors are complaining of the stink. You’re really in hot water with your farting. Oh you’re just taking a bath.

23rd. Your farts are full bodied and in great shape. Too bad they are not in mint condition, they might not smell as bad.

24th. Your ass is very congenial, always has time to chat, even just in passing.

25th. You have your head in the lap of luxury, with your girlfriends caviar farts .

26th. The musician in you is surfacing. Your farts are really instrumental in getting a crowd to disperse.

27th. Your butt is like an open book, unfortunately with your farts, not one anyone wants to read.

28th. People can even recognize you even in the dark, they know your farts only too well

29th. People always know where you stand on something, they can smell your farts.

30th. You always seem to know when one is not needed. With your farting that’s probably 100% of the time.

31st. You always know the score. Or at least when it comes to farts, you know your ass is winning.

Cancer - July 2010

1st. You really drop a big fart after work on your commute. You really drive it home.

2nd. Your farts are deadly around women, real lady killers.

3rd. Your farts are really full of themselves. They really lay it on thick.

4th. Belching now are you, I guess that’s ok, you’re the boss now. Remember those days of farting in the mailroom. You really learned from the bottom up.

5th. You’d think the smell of your house would get to you after awhile. Guess you’ve really learned to live with your farts.

6th. Your ass always leaves itself wide open for one of your farts to backfire on you.

7th. Unfinished business. You really left the situation hanging in the air, when you fart and ran.

8th. Your farts really drove your family to move. You really left them out in the cold.

9th. You really sound off, let someone really have it. Your farts really lose their temper.

10th. You are so easy to get along with. You never really put up a stink, you always let something go. However silent and deadly it may be.

11th. You’re a good boss, if someone is late you just let it slide, I guess getting farted on is better than having your pay docked.

12th. Your attitude of letting the chips fall where doesn’t translate very well when it comes to your farts.

13th. Your farts are deadly. Do you have a license to kill?

14th. Your farts really fly below the radar. They swoop down like a bat out of hell

15th. Your farts really live for the moment. They disburse quickly.

16th. Speechless aren’t you? That deadpan grin of yours nothing to say, cat got your tongue? Too bad, with your farts, your butt is the living end.

17th. That’s the long and short of it. There’s no telling what you’ll fart out next.

18th. You make a killing on your farts , you’re a Fart-hit man aren’t you. How much are they paying you?

19th. You really made yourself heard at the meeting. The megaphone up your butt really helped.

20th. You always give credit where credit is due. Did your neighbor teach you to fart. You always mention him in passing

21st. If money is the root of all evil, your farts are the trees, you plant them everywhere.

22nd. You are not to content to be discreet when you fart. Your ass is a real mover and shaker

23rd. You’re really going places. Hopefully you’ll start with going to the bathroom.

24th. No if’s, and’s, or butt’s are not strong enough words to keep your farting butt out of the kitchen.

25th. You don’t know your own strength. Smell isn’t everything, but your farts are strong

26th. Your farts really choke out a room. Most people don’t know which way to turn.

27th. You’re really getting the silent treatment from your wife. Silent but deadly.

28th. Farting in the library, you really give them one for the books.

29th. Farting all night, you must be running on fumes, looks like your ass is out of gas.

30th. You are really a party animal. Whooping it up. You’re your farting ass is always out on the town.

31st. Your farting ass will go down in history as the most likely to succeed.