Ahhhh hot summer nights. What better time to get out there and smell the heady blooms of man’s best friends running wild across your sun scorched lawn.

AUTOMOTIVE PLANTS GO GREEN WITH HUMAN WIND TUNNEL TESTING

“We were using a heck of a lot of electricity keeping the fan’s going to test the aero dynamics of our new cars”, says chief engineer Trygge Howlsbutt at his plant in Detroit. “A simple change in the cafeteria diet and by 4pm each day the workers, given a special overtime shift all fart on the cars. The workers feel they’re doing their part with every fart.” “ We spend all Fu***ng day working on the son’s of bitches, at the end of the day it’s nice to give back a little”, snorted Howard Rogerson of Troy. “It’s amazing to watch, the test results are similar to the old fashioned wind tunnels, but a might bit cheaper and I add proudly, greener. In fact some of the technicians monitoring the process even turn green,” added Trygge.

NEW FART BLOG!
Tell us what's on your derriere!
Release your inner fart onto the world wide web - click here

FARTMAN ROCKS
MTV VIDEO MUSIC AWARDS

Howard Stern kicks ass on You Tube Fart Channel ...
watch it now - click here

FART HUNTERS GUIDE TO FLATULENCE

Grand farter, Tim Rogerson has just been green-lighted to author another fart-filled book of flatulence. “ I have traveled the world in preparation of this project. What this novel will reveal will truly unleash the fart hunter in all of us. All I can say is nothing will prepare you for this must read!!!!”

REAL FARTOHOLICS TALK ABOUT WHAT THEY REALLY WANT

Gathered under a shady tree in Traverse City Michigan, the annual Farter’s Conference, got under way Friday with special guest farter Craig Tandy as Master of ceremonies, to a crowd of over 4000 farters.” It gives me great pleasure to make such a big stink here in Traverse City, my ancestors, and their ancestors before them have come annually to this great city to share their wind, and now that my son Russell has officially become a fartoholic, I am hoping that my children and their children’s children, and their children’s children will follow the same path”. At that point Mr. Tandy let loose with one of his precious atomic bomb farts and the crowd went wild.

A real lady never brags about her farts ... she lets her stink do the talking.

click to enlarge

WINNING FART JOKE STUNS AND SICKENS MARRIED MEN

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her gasp for air, and her eyes water. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor, she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to rip them out. Then one thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver, and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs to her sleeping husband, and gently pulled the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic foot steps as he ran into the bath room. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, 'honey you were right.' 'all these years you have warned me and i didn't listen to you…' 'what do you mean?' asked his wife. 'Well, you told me that one day i would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of god, some Vaseline and two fingers. I think i got most of them back in.'

UNDERPANTS WITH BUILT-IN AMPLIFIER RESONATOR STEALS SHOW

The 29th annual Farter’s Convention was a blast. Farter’s from all around the world participated in this years event, and for the first time ever farter’s from Afghanistan. The trophy for most original product of the year went to Fartoholics.com for their special underpants with built-in fart amplifier.

You have to hear this to believe it. It can take any fart and amplify it by ten. Farts have gone supersonic. With the flip of a switch you can modify the sound so your farts sound like a big rig horn a train horn or dinosaur fart. There is even a special transmitter switch that allows you to broadcast your farts on any car radio.